Animal: a Brief History
Sometimes, life just shoves the same image in your face for some god-known reason. It’s not unnatural to miss these coincidences, either being too busy to notice them or too tired to care. Sometimes the image is so strangely unique that it feels like a spiritual slap in the face. I say I believe in signs, but I thought they were supposed to be butterflies or angel numbers or something…
Imagine, my spiritual slap comes from this lovely creature right here:
Animal… the frenzied Muppets’ drummer and resident rabblerouser. In a world of absurdist, surreal, and puppeteered burlesque characters, he out-crazies them all.
How did this image of peace and serenity show up in my life, you may ask? Once, strapped to the front of an 80’s cover band’s drumkit. A second time, zip-tied to the back of an understated Harley Davidson. And the third, worn as a full, helmet-style mask by someone I passed on the bridge by my neighborhood.
This all happened in the span of three days. Three sightings, three days… I should write that down somewhere.
What might Animal be able to teach me? As I am not an expert in Muppets lore, I start on his Wikipedia page.
- Animal is known for guttural, monosyllabic speech. Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick? I could try shutting up more, I guess.
- With a chain around his neck and following dog-like commands at band performances, it seems like Animal’s musical genius is borne out of some barely-restrained mania. Cool. Has my boss made jokes about chaining me to my desk? Yes. Am I a musical prodigy? No. I’m not any kind of prodigy.
- Animal needs some anger management, I’m sure, but his bandmates seem to appreciate his violent tendencies, as he is often sic’d on audience members dubbed “annoying.” I’m currently dreaming of chasing off people I find irritating.
- In one film, The Great Muppet Caper, it’s revealed through an unexpected tantrum that Animal is a fan of impressionist art. I suppose we have that in common. I’d say my affinity for art is less of a shock to the public.
Under no uncertain terms, I am terrified of this guy. He’s frizzy, loud, and seems like he smells.
I don’t think Animal and I would be friends, but maybe he personifies a rage I’ve been feeling. Some kind of internal, cyclical cooped-upness I’m trapped in. I’ll concede- I get up and go to work everyday, raging silently against the machine.
On second thought, maybe Animal is the sanest one here.
<3 i
